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January 2001
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Road Warriors

It had been a quiet night at the local bar so far, but then the door was thrown open and an Interstate highway strode in. "I'm an Interstate highway," he declared. "I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I'm the best of the highways, and I'm afraid of no highway and no road."

He then strode up to the bar, ordered a beer, and began drinking it, while looking around.

A short time later, a four-lane highway came in, went to the end of the bar, and ordered a beer. The Interstate looked him over and walked over to him. "I'm an Interstate highway," he declared. "I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I'm the best of the highways, and I'm not afraid of you."

The four-lane highway said "I agree that you're the best. I don't want any trouble with you. Let me buy you a beer", and he did.

They drank their beers and discussed their engineering specifications.

After a half hour, the door opened again and a two-lane road came in, went to the other end of the bar, and ordered a beer. The Interstate looked him over and told the four-lane highway that he had to take care of the new arrival. He walked over to the two-lane road and said "I'm an Interstate highway. I stretch from coast to coast and have at least four lanes, shoulders, and a median almost my entire length. I have the highest speed limit of any highway. I'm the best of the highways, and I'm not afraid of you."

The two-lane road quivered a bit and said "You're absolutely right. You are the best of the highways. I'm just a lowly two-lane road. I don't want any trouble. Can I buy beers for you and the four-lane highway?"

The Interstate motioned the four-lane highway to come over, the two-lane road bought beers for each of them, and the three of them drank their beers and discussed the merits of various paving materials.

After another half hour, the door opened again and a strip of asphalt about eight feet wide came in. The Interstate highway ducked behind the bar and hid there quivering quietly. The bartender was shocked.

After serving the asphalt strip, he walked over to where the Interstate was hiding. "I watched you stand up to the four-lane highway and the two-lane road. You said you weren't afraid of any highway or road. Why are you hiding from that little asphalt strip?"

The Interstate replied quietly, "It's true that I'm not afraid of any highway or road, but he's a cycle path."


This page was last updated January 1, 2001.

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January 2001
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