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Darwin Awards
August 1999
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Operator, Please

The following are real conversations Directory Enquiries operators had with callers, as revealed in interviews with staff at the Cardiff DE Centre. (Yeah Right, and pigs fly !)


Caller : I'd like the number of the Argoed Fish Bar in Cardiff, please.
Operator : I'm sorry, there's no listing. Is the spelling correct?
Caller : Well, it used to be called the Bargoed Fish Bar but the B fell off.


Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.
Operator : Woven? Are you sure?
Caller : Yes. That's what it says on the label - Woven in Scotland.


Caller : I'd like the RSPCA please.
Operator : Where are you calling from?
Caller : The living room


Caller : The water board please.
Operator : Which department?
Caller : Tap water.


Operator : How are you spelling that?
Caller : With letters.


Caller : I'd like the number for a reverend in Cardiff, please.
Operator : Do you have his name?
Caller : No, but he has a dog named Ben.


Caller : The Union of Shopkeepers and Alligators please.
Operator : You mean the Amalgamated Union of Shopkeepers?


On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a phone box told the worried operator: "I haven't got a pen so I'm steaming up the window to write the number on.


This page was last updated August 1, 1999.

home
table of contents
humor
Darwin Awards
August 1999
email