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April 1999
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Logic 101

Two rednecks agreed that they weren't going anywhere in life and decided they should go to college to get ahead. The first redneck then went and saw an undergraduate advisor, who told him to take math, history, and logic.

"What's 'logic'?" the first redneck asked.

The professor answered by saying, "Let me give you an example. Do you own a weed-eater?"

"I sure do."

"Then I can assume, using logic, that you have a yard," replied the professor.

"That's real good!" said the redneck.

The professor continued, "Logic will also tell me that since you have a yard, you also own a house."

Impressed, the redneck said, "Amazin!"

"And since you own a house, logic dictates that you have a wife."

"That's Betty Mae! This is incredible!" The redneck was obviously catching on.

"Finally, since you have a wife, logically I can assume that you are heterosexual," said the professor.

"You're absolutely right! Why that's the most fascinatin' thing I ever heard! I cain't wait to take that logic class!"

The redneck, proud of the new world opening up to him, walked back into the hallway, where his friend was waiting.

"So what classes are ya takin'?" asked the friend.

"Math, history, and logic!" replied the first redneck.

"What in tarnation is 'logic?'" asked his friend.

"Let me give you an example. Do ya own a weed-eater?" asked the first redneck.

"No," his friend replied.

"You is queer, ain't ya?"


This page was last updated April 15, 1999.

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April 1999
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