After Tom Osbourne (head football coach at Nebraska) dies and enters the Pearly Gates, God takes him on a tour. He shows Tom a little two-bedroom house with a faded Nebraska banner hanging from the front porch. "This is your house, coach. Most people don't get their own houses up here," God says.
Dr. Tom looks at the house, then turns around and looks at the one sitting on top of the hill. It's a huge two-story mansion with white marble columns and little patios under all the windows. Notre Dame flags line both sides of the sidewalk and a huge Fightin' Irish banner hangs between the marble columns.
"Thanks for the house, God. But let me ask you a question. I get this little two-bedroom house with a faded banner and Holtz gets a mansion with new Irish banners and flags flying all over the place.
Why is that?"
God looks at him seriously for a moment. "That's not Holtz's house," God says. "That's mine."
This page was last updated January 22,1998.