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October 1998
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Some things you just can't explain

A farmer is sitting in the neighborhood bar getting soused when a man comes in and sits down beside him, "Hey, why are you sitting here on this beautiful day getting drunk?"

The farmer replies, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So what happened that's so horrible?" asks the man.

"Well, today" says the farmer, "I was sitting milking my cow. Just as I got the bucket about full, she took her left leg and kicked over the bucket.

The man looks at the farmer and says, "Haven't you heard, it's no use crying over spilt milk."

The farmer looks down, gulps another drink and says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"Ok," said the man, "what happened then?"

"I took her left leg and tied it to the post on the left," said the farmer.

"Yeah. And then?" asked the man.

"Well, I sat back down and continued to milk her," said the farmer. "And just as I got the bucket about full, she took her right leg and kicked over the bucket!"

"What's two buckets of milk in the big picture?" said the man. "Don't sweat it."

The farmer looks down, shakes his head, downs another drink and says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"Alright," says the man, "what did you do then?"

"This time," he says, "I took her right leg and tied it to the post on the right."

"Makes sense," says the man, "then what?"

"Well, I sat back down and began milking her again," he said. "And just as I got the bucket about full, the stupid cow knocked over the bucket with her tail."

"Hmmm," says the man as he nods understandingly. "Just think of it as a test of your patience and forget about it."

Again the farmer pounds another drink and says, "Some things you just can't explain."

"So," said the man, "what happened next?"

"Well, I didn't have any more rope," replied the farmer, "so I took off my belt, got behind her and tied her tail to the rafter. In that moment, my pants fell down and my wife walked in....."


This page was last updated October 22, 1998.

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October 1998
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