Far Right's Proposed New "Bill of Rights"

Amendment 1

Congress shall make laws compelling the establishment of religion and demanding the exercise thereof; and abridging the freedom of speech and of the liberal press; and preventing the people from peaceful assembly; and forbidding the courts to redress grievances.

Amendment 2

A well-regulated militia being superfluous to the issue, the people shall be compelled to bear arms and kill each other.

Amendment 3

No soldier shall, in time of peace, be quartered in any house, without the consent of the owner, unless that house is being used for the distribution of illegal substances.

Amendment 4

The right of the people to be secure in their persons, houses, papers. and effects against unreasonable searches and seizures, shall be violated under the excuse of being for the public good, and no warrants shall need to be issued, but upon probable cause supported by anonymous sources, any place shall be subject to search and persons or things seized.

Amendment 5

Any person who refuses to testify in court about his involvement in a crime, shall automatically be judged guilty. His property may be seized upon the governments determination that he must be guilty.

Amendment 6

In all criminal prosecutions, the accused shall enjoy the right to a speedy and public trial before he is found guilty. He is entitled to the assistance of counsel for his defense but not for any appeals.

Amendment 7

In suits at common law, where the value in controversy shall exceed twenty million dollars, the right of trial by jury shall be preserved.

Amendment 8

Excessive bail shall be required to ensure that the accused are kept behind bars where they belong.

Amendment 9

The enumeration in the Constitution, of certain rights, shall be ignored if they conflict with the Walton's version of Family Values.

Amendment 10

The powers not delegated to the United States by the Constitution, shall be reserved for the Supreme Court, except that the States shall have the right to ban abortions.

This page was last revised April 7, 1996