The Court Martial of Andreas Benaras

My contributions to talk.origins sometimes are on the puckish side. For example the following interchange by two gentlemen who should wish to remain anonymous:

A:
Secondly, I don't know how many times I have to state my position. Yes, I believe aliens could have possibly came here to start humanity.

B:
My dear, saintly (but pessimistic) mother never lost her faith that human kind was created in an extraterrestrial's garbage dump.

inspired this comment by yours truly:

As it happens I can contribute something to this discussion. There is a popular play on Poldoran V called The Court Martial of Andreas Benaras which is based on one of the few fragmentary documents surviving from the Old Galactic Empire which, as we all know, collapsed in the so called Minotaur rebellion some 3800 million years ago and all official records were lost when the Imperial planets were destroyed.

A few hundred years ago Poldoran paleontologists discovered a fossilized pet litter box which had been lined with sundry Old Galactic Empire official papers. Among them was an account of the court martial of Andreas Benaras.

Benaras had been the waste management officer of an Imperial survey ship surveying planetary systems in the Kholf-Litchger region. Benaras had cast off a cannister of organic materials [1] which potentially could have been landed on and infected Codswallop III. He was tried and executed for criminal implantation of life. No mission was ever sent to determine whether Codswallop III had actually been infected.

The play, which is highly romantic, turns on whether Benaras was treated justly. It is filled with depictions of the morals of the Old Galactic Empire, depictions based entirely on the imagination of the playwright since nothing is known of the Old Galactic Empire society.

When the play was first produced a fund was gathered to send a ship to Codswallop III to determine whether the planet had actually been infected so as to answer the question: Was the verdict just or had Benaras been done a great injustice.

Unfortunately the collected funds were insufficient for sending an expedition. Instead they were used to fund a pet hospital and a dramatic coda was written for the play. It is a great favorite of the theatre going Poldorans who always leave the play sighing, "Ah, if we only knew whether there is life on Codswallop III".

They don't know, but we do.

(1) He shit canned the shit can.
(2) This page was last updated June 29, 1996.